(NewsNation Now) — Alec Baldwin returned to work for the first time since October, when beloved cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was fatally shot on the set of the film “Rust.”
“It’s strange to go back to work,” Baldwin said in an almost five-minute video he posted on Instagram Tuesday while in England to film a new thriller, “97 Minutes.”
The actor said he would keep a little diary when traveling and working, though he added that he doesn’t work as much as he used to.
“You go to work and you forget what you’re supposed to do,” he said. “I just was like, ‘Oh God, what do you do? What is acting or any of this nonsense that I’ve ended up doing?”
Baldwin said he hasn’t worked since Oct. 21, when he fired a prop gun, which was supposed to be empty but was actually loaded with a real bullet, killing Hutchins, 42, and wounding “Rust’s” director, Joel Souza. In an ABC interview last year, Baldwin said he didn’t pull the trigger. It was at Hutchins’ direction, Baldwin said, that he pulled the hammer back, and the gun went off.
The incident, Baldwin said at the time, left him emotionally ravaged, and kept him up at night with dreams where guns are going off.
On Instagram, Baldwin said he still finds “this horrible thing” that happened to Hutchins, described by those who knew her as a “joyful spirit” who everyone liked, hard to talk about.
Crews are hardworking people, he said in the video, often working on their feet all day, “and in an unheated building, I might add,” Baldwin said.
“Many independent films can be tricky in terms of getting them done,” Baldwin noted. “The amount of work you have and the amount of time you have are definitely not in sync.”
Baldwin said he plans on being on set for a few more days, and then, “Who knows what the future will bring?”
More than just work was on Baldwin’s mind Tuesday. He said he also misses his wife, Hilaria, and children.
“My kids are so unique,” he said. “I guess everybody who has a lot of kids feels that way — you can’t get over how different they are.”