(NewsNation Now) — Whatever our surface wants a needs, be it more money, a better job, a good relationship or more friends, underneath it all is a craving for happiness. Happiness can seem to be in short supply in today’s world, but “Morning in America” host Adrienne Bankert interviewed someone with an inside track on finding your happy.
“Detox Your Thoughts” author and licensed clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior joined the show to talk about shaping your thoughts, a process not of banishing all negative thoughts but of accepting them and learning how to manage them. In these times, she said, “We’ve got to learn to lean into a bit of negative emotions to be happier in the long run.”
She advises distancing yourself from your negative thoughts. For example, instead of saying “Things will never get better,” say “I’m having a thought that things will never get better.” That extra layer of insulation can help you deal with the negativity without letting it take over your outlook.
An unhealthy attitude toward negative thoughts gives them more importance than they deserve, and lets them take up greater space in our minds and consciousness. Distancing ourselves from them gives us perspective and lets us see better ways to handle them.
Bonior also advised taking stock of your physical reaction to negative thoughts. Does your heart speed up? Your muscles tighten? Your jaw clench? Take some deep breaths, relax, roll your head around and maybe even put on some relaxing music for a few minutes to get your physical and mental spaces more in line with themselves and keep you from descending into a well of negativity.
Social support, something that’s become less and less available amid the distancing of the pandemic, is also vital to happiness. If you can’t gather together, find ways online to be in the presence of others, especially those who support and reinforce you. Not only that, there’s plenty of medical evidence that being gregarious helps your overall health and even leads to longer life.