Breaking bad news to elderly takes empathy: Clinical psychiatrist
- Doctor’s advice: Remember person is an independent human being
- Never ‘steamroll’ a parent by saying ‘you have to, I say so’
- Be positive and turn the issue into problem-solving moment
(NewsNation) — When it’s time for a parent to give up driving, or they can no longer live on their own, how do you break that news? With empathy and positivity, according to one expert.
“The most important things are, first of all, to be empathetic,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital.
“Understand that your parent, for example, is a human being who’s been independent and autonomous their whole life, and they don’t want to give that up,” she added.
Saltz cautioned that trying to “steamroll” a loved one “by saying, ‘You have to, I said so, do it,’ never works. It makes them paranoid. It makes them suspicious. It makes them defensive. They won’t do it.”
Instead, she says: be empathetic and use language like, “I know this is hard. I know you want this. But here’s why I have concerns, and they’re in your best interests. Let’s problem-solve. How, instead of you driving … can we help you to move around? To get around and still be independent?”
“It’s empathy. It’s respect. It’s treating them like an independent human being, and it’s being positive in your problem-solving,” she said.
Saltz appeared on NewsNation’s “On Balance” the day after the presidential debate raised questions about President Joe Biden’s mental acuity, and just hours after The New York Times called on Biden to quit the race.
In that context, Saltz prefaced her advice. “I’m not speaking to Joe Biden because I’m a psychiatrist. I’m not speaking to any public figure who I haven’t examined.”