LOS ANGELES (NEXSTAR) — After remaining mostly quiet since announcing the loss of her baby Jack, model Chrissy Teigen wrote a heartbreaking essay detailing her recent experiences.

“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so,” Teigen said in the blog. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see.”

Teigen and husband, John Legend, announced they were expecting in Legend’s music video for the song “Wild” in August. Teigen was hospitalized for excessive bleeding during pregnancy at the end of September. Teigen then announced Oct. 1 that they had lost the baby. In the new essay Tiegen went into more detail about her grief.

“I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will,” she said.

Teigen was incredibly grateful for everyone who reached out with notes of support and concern.

“Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories,” Teigen said. “We are so incredibly lucky.”

But she was critical of those who had unkind things to say about how she and her husband shared their journey on social media.

“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done,” she said. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”

Nexstar Media Wire contributed to this report.