(NewsNation Now) — Texting: It’s something we do with our family, friends and romantic partners every day, without really thinking about it.
A new book coming out on Feb.8 called “Speaking in Thumbs” by Mimi Winsberg, a Stanford-trained psychiatrist, seeks to decode some of the texts people send when it comes to romantic relationships.
“Speaking in Thumbs,” according to Penguin Random House, draws from research and a “treasure trove” of real-life online dating chats, including some from Winsberg herself, to help people examine the personalities of online daters, check for red flags in messages or see subtle signals in texts from romantic partners.
“I think texting has really become a very intimate language,” Winsberg told NewsNation’s Adrienne Bankert on “Morning in America.” “It’s a pretty novel language. We started texting in 2007 and now it’s the dominant mode of communication, especially in romantic relationships.”
In the book, Winsberg said, she gives people tools to recognize what the person they’re texting with is like, from their personalities to their attachment styles.
“Are they extroverted? Are they going to be accountable in a relationship? Are they a little bit neurotic?” Winsberg asked. “We can see all these things in our early text messages.”
It’s important to ask the right questions early in a relationship, Winsberg said, to see whether there’s chemistry or even compatibility developing.
To give people a good idea of who you are when texting them in an early relationship, Winsberg suggests using emojis that reflect their personalities. For instance, she said, an extrovert might use a mouth open emoji or emojis of restaurants and drinks.
Winsberg said asking questions to get to know the other person and typing in full sentences is also important.
A common mistake people make when texting each other is that they fail to read a text out loud in their head to see how the other person will read it, Winsberg said.
“I think sometimes we type too quickly and that can lead to a lot of misunderstanding,” she said.