(NewsNation Now) — It happens every Christmas. Despite your carefully written and meticulously distributed gift list, someone gives you something completely bizarre, or at the very least unwanted. You want to return it or otherwise get rid of it, but how do you do so without giving offense?

If you think it wouldn’t cause tension, politely ask the giver for a gift receipt. At this time of year, stores give them out for just about everything. If you’d rather not, or if they don’t have one, most stores this time of year will accept returns without a receipt, although you’ll usually have to take store credit.

But where did they get it? In your enthusiasm for the gift, ask where it came from in case you want more of that enameled purple reindeer diorama.

A lot of returned gifts are caused by gift recipients not letting friends and family know what they really want/don’t want. For example, your author is in a secret Santa group made up of fans of the Food Network show “Good Eats.” Almost all the members have a standing order: No more kitchen gadgets! This is a great example, because once your friends learn you’re a foodie, they’ll think that any kitchen gizmo they see on an infomercial they catch when they wake up on the couch after falling asleep during a late football game would be a great gift.

If you’ve got a big family group, try organizing a list exchange among family members if you’ll all be gathering together, or opt for the gift card route if you’ll be apart.

Be clear but polite about what you want and don’t want. Of course you’ll always get one or two gifts that make you scratch your head, but remember that they’re given in good spirit and enjoy the holiday!