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(NewsNation) — Former Pastor John-Paul Miller says he spent months trying to get his estranged wife, Mica Miller, to take lithium and stay with him before she was found dead in April.

Officials ruled the death a suicide, but the woman’s family has called for a thorough investigation, noting that her death happened while she was pursuing a divorce. John-Paul Miller continues to deny any involvement and told NewsNation he “saw it coming for years.” Investigators have verified his alibi and John-Paul Miller faces no charges in connection with his wife’s death. 

He sat down with NewsNation’s Rich McHugh for an exclusive interview about the months leading up to Mica Miller’s death and the public speculation that spread in its wake.

“Now that some of the emotion has died down in the world and with people that are led by their feelings, they deserve to hear some logic and some truth and make their own assessment,” he said.

What happened 

Mica Miller, 30, was found dead April 27 at Lumber State Park in Lumberton, North Carolina — about 70 miles north of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

She got into her car alone that day and drove to a pawn shop, where she bought a gun and ammunition. She made another stop at a gas station and then drove to the Lumber River State Park in North Carolina. There, Mica Miller dialed 911 and told the operator her plan to die by suicide and where they could find her. Police arrived within 10 minutes and discovered her body.

“I didn’t think it was real,” John-Paul Miller said. “I thought her family had made it up and had somebody call me and say that. So that’s one big thing. I didn’t think it was real. When I found that it was real …You don’t want to say I told you so because it’s a horrible thing.” 

Allegations of abuse 

Mica Miller accused her pastor husband in court filings of stealing her car, installing a tracking device, hospitalizing her against her will and “grooming” her when she was 10 years old.

In an emailed letter obtained by NewsNation, John-Paul Miller apologized for posting a topless photo online.

“I’m sorry for putting a picture of you on the internet,” he wrote. “It was for less than one hour and immediately taken down. I was hurt that you are telling everyone horrible intimate details of my past sin, and I just wanted to try and hurt you. Please forgive me. It was evil of me to do that.”

Shortly after John-Paul Miller sent the email, Mica Miller sent an affidavit to her attorney. She died about nine days later.

“Since the day we became husband and wife, I have been abused in every way I can think of. Emotionally, sexually, spiritually, financially, and physically,” Mica Miller wrote.

She went on to accuse John-Paul Miller of “showing up in person around town” and putting tracking devices on her car. 

The pastor now says he did write the apology email, but not everything in it was true. 

“It got to the point where she says, ‘You know what? I’ll take my medicine and I’ll come home if you’ll give me $10,000 and if you’ll write me an apology letter.’” 

Mica Miller’s alleged mental health struggles 

The former pastor at Solid Rock Church says the final months of his wife’s life felt like the “whole world” was against him. He spent his days sounding the alarms about Mica Miller’s state and trying to persuade her to take medicine for her reported mental health struggles, he said.

“I made a vow that I was going to do something every single day to try to get her back on her lithium to save her life, and so every day I did something…” John-Paul Miller said. “It was me against the world for three months, and I failed.”

Mica Miller’s family and friends have said they were heeding a different set of warnings.

The woman’s family described John-Paul Miller as feeling like “he owned her,” laying out in court documents alleged patterns of “abuse and violence” and saying she was afraid for her life.

“Mica stated to me on many occasions, ‘If I end up with a bullet in my head, it was JP,’” Mica Miller’s sister, Sierra Francis, said in an affidavit asking to be named the special administrator of Mica’s estate.

According to John-Paul Miller, Mica Miller was safe, healthy and happy when she was with him. Without him, she was “euphoric” and suicidal, he said. Although his wife attempted suicide in the past, it was John-Paul Miller who made sure she saw her doctors and took her medicine, he said. 

“She would wake up and say, ‘I think I’m supposed to die today,’ and I said, ‘No, no, no, honey, you’re not you’re not going to do that,’” John-Paul Miller said. “She said, ‘Well, my mind tells me that I’m supposed to kill myself.’ I said, ‘We’re not going to listen to your mind. We’re going to take you to a doctor and get you to help.’” 

Public Speculation 

The day after Mica Miller’s death, John-Paul Miller announced her passing during a sermon to his congregation. He told church members her death was “self-induced,” she had been struggling with mental illness, and that he tried to “raise her from the dead.” 

The pastor asked the congregation not to discuss her death inside the church. 

According to reports, Mica Miller had filed multiple times for a legal separation from John-Paul Miller. In October 2023, she filed for divorce. She also posted a video on Facebook weeks before her death offering advice for people in abusive relationships.

One of the woman’s friends said her last text didn’t sound like a woman about to die but a woman making plans to live.

When Mica Miller’s death was ruled a suicide, John-Paul Miller didn’t think to doubt the detectives who conducted the investigation, he said. According to him, there was no other plausible explanation for how Mica Miller died. He told NewsNation he did not think her death was a “murder.” 

“My Lord, let my wife be at peace. She’s in heaven,” he said. “She’s not worrying about all this stuff … she had suicidal tendencies over and over, year after year — off medication especially.” 

“She went to Dick’s pawn shop before, purchased a weapon and tried to do the same thing,” he continued. “She drove out to the middle of nowhere. She called 911, left a voice message. I don’t really understand what else could be. But you know what? I’m not a professional. So I don’t know.”