(NewsNation) — When there’s a global crisis like a terrorist attack or a war, the youngest Americans often have the hardest time processing events.
NewsNation spoke to two psychologists who specialize in working with kids about the advice they would give to parents and guardians about talking to children about war.
Take care of yourself
Dr. Gil Lichtshein, who works as a psychiatrist in South Florida, emphasized that before parents or guardians broach the topic of global conflicts with a child, they should tend to their own mental health.
“If a parent can’t take care of themself, how are they going to be able to take care of their kids’ emotional and mental needs?” he said.
Dan Bober, a psychiatrist who also works in the South Florida area, agreed.
“Kids take emotional cues from their parents and their caregivers. It’s important for yourself to really come to terms with your own feelings before you even speak to them,” he said.
He emphasized the importance of assuring children of their personal safety.
“You have to reassure them of safety. You have to say that you’re going to be safe, that there are people that are here that are protecting you and that we’re here for you, we care about you, and that everything’s going to be OK. That’s the first thing,” he said.
Give kids space to express themselves
Lichtshein emphasized the importance of giving children time to gather their thoughts and express themselves.
“Listen to your kids, create a time and place for them to ask questions, don’t force them to talk about things until they’re ready,” he said.
Kids of different ages will vary in how they choose to express themselves, Lichtshein noted.
“The ones who are verbal, let them verbalize. The ones who are less able to convey their feelings in words, maybe they might be more comfortable drawing pictures, playing with toys or writing stories that might be related in some way to whatever the event is,” he said.
Answer your kids’ questions
“Answer your children’s questions, but use words or concepts or ideas that your child can understand,” Lichtshein said.
Like Lichtshein, Bober emphasized the importance of considering age when engaging with children.
Younger children may not be able to process the complex political roots of global conflicts, but it may be appropriate to bring in more complicated concepts when talking to high schoolers.
Be mindful of what your children are seeing
With so much graphic imagery coming from conflicts like in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, children have easy access to potentially terrifying material.
“Try to limit their exposure to some of these pictures and images, which can be quite distressing,” Bober said, emphasizing the importance of monitoring what your children are consuming.
He pointed out it’s almost impossible for kids to avoid news of wars happening overseas.
“I think it’s important to say that by age 10, about 60% of kids have a smartphone and then by age 14, over 90% do. So it’s probably safe to assume by default that kids have heard something about it, especially in the age of social media. It’s very hard to shield them from it,” he said.
Adults can be mindful of the images they may expose to children inadvertently by simply turning on the evening news.
“It’s easy for us as parents and as adults to sort of sit in the living room with TV on in the background not really thinking of what’s being displayed with kids coming in and out of the room. So it’s really important to try to control that if you can,” he said.
Help kids be constructive
Bober suggested giving kids a constructive outlet. For example, some kids may benefit from donating to a humanitarian relief organization if they are at the right age.
“That gives them a sense of empowerment, a sense of agency, and that they can actually do something positive to change the world. It puts them in a place where they can feel more under control of their circumstances,” he said.
